Thanksgiving 2018

Thanksgiving 2018

This day marks the fifth Thanksgiving since Derya ended up at the Hospital in Newton.  I remember it well because we had been gearing up to go to our family friends for Thanksgiving Dinner.  It was going to be a big deal, something for everyone to look forward to.

Derya was still enrolled in College, Deniz was still in High School and I was still a Vice Principal.  

So much has changed.  

In the middle of that time, Derya actually got better.  The very next year – 2015 Derya was showing remarkable signs of improvement.  Her surgery of her abdomen around Thanksgiving of 2015 had a major impact on her getting better.  She showed signs of cognitive clearing. Her dependency on her mother and me was decreasing and Derya was able to be more of her own person – in 2015.  

The Crash!

In 2014, our world had suddenly crashed.  Deniz and I ended up eating at the local McDonald’s while Samime stayed with Derya at the hospital.

I’m sure that this beginning is similar to what many of you have had to go through, even if your loved one doesn’t have AE.  Tragedies have many similarities. Sometimes – to Often – there aren’t happy endings. At the beginning there’s always the trauma of the moment.  An accident, medical complication or other instance which provokes a trip to the E.R.

And that’s where we were.  Waiting for an answer – we didn’t get one that night.  In fact, it would be over two weeks before we have some imaginary idea that this incident might be a “medical” problem and not a psychiatric one.  

It would be during that winter break that we would find out that it was – indeed- a medical problem, starting a journey.  A journey that would be filled with trials, pain, suffering, success, more pain, tragedy, hope, joy and hope some more, along with more pain.  

The warping of our universe began that day and hasn’t stopped.  I couldn’t imagine this future.

The Future!

Samime mentioned something about this the other day.  She said, “If you could see the future…?” I think my response surprised her.

I said: “Do you think when the Angels told Mary she would bear the baby Jesus that they also told her that her son’s birth would cause her to be mocked by her neighbors for having a child before she was married, chased by Herod’s men, live on the run, sleep in a stable, raise a son so that she could watch him be killed on the cross after being taunted and heckled by the crowds.  Do you think that she would have said – Sure I’ll take that”

Truthfully, I took that from Joel Osteen’s Faith for the Middle sermon.  

I would like to think I would have the courage to say I wouldn’t be afraid of the future.  But, I know I’m too much of a human to know that I can’t answer it completely and therefore, I just don’t know.  

I will say this though.  I’ve said this before.

“How unlucky I am that this should happen to me. But not at all. Perhaps, say how lucky I am that I am not broken by what has happened, and I am not afraid of what is about to happen. For the same blow might have stricken anyone, but not many would have absorbed it without capitulation and complaint.”  Marcus Aurelius

Okay – I didn’t say that exactly, – as it was I had to google it just to be able to post the exact quote.  However, I told her the jist of it, which went more like – you never really know how much you can take until you are tested!  And we have been tested!

Keep your faith, whatever it maybe.

Be Brave, Be Strong, Endure for tomorrow is another day filled with possibilities!

2 Replies to “Thanksgiving 2018”

  1. Bless you. I understand. My daughter suffered a catastrophic illness which required continuous oxygen, eventually a double lung transplant, and death at age 29 from RSV. She was strong and brave for 17 years. I learned to treat abnormal as the new normal.

  2. Bless you. I understand. My daughter suffered a catastrophic illness which required continuous oxygen, eventually a double lung transplant, and death at age 29 from RSV. She was strong and brave for 17 years. I learned to treat abnormal as the new normal.

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